6 Week Count Down!
Hard to believe our little Joseph will be here soon! The past few months have flown by... I really couldn't tell you what happened to September... or October... or November (seriously... could have sworn yesterday was the beginning of November...)
We had our 34 Week appointment today - discussed our labor "wish list". We really get along great with our OB-GYN, he's pretty fantastic. I'm pretty much anti all the medical interventions and he's such a high caliber doctor that he listens, understands, and respects my opinions/desires. And, he can explain and give advice in a way that is not rude/abrasive/dis-respectful. Really classy guy.
Our last appointment wasn't with him because he was out of town, so we had the opportunity to meet with one of the other doctors. Which did not go so well AT ALL. Seriously. Some people just shouldn't be doctors. There's this thing called bedside manner and she seriously lacked it. We had just talked about medical interventions and had seen the various tools at our birthing class the night before. I brought up my strong desire to avoid forceps, vacuum, and the internal monitor. Now, when I brought it up, it was in the "hey, we just talked about this last night in class and we really don't want these items (listed out) used at all during our labor" The doctor's response was literally "WELL, I would HOPE that you would LISTEN to the doctor who probably has 25 YEARS experience and that you would CHANGE your mind in the moment". Then she gave us the canned "it is your right to say no, though". Did she bother explaining any medical reasoning to us? NO. I was completely shocked and appalled. By the time we got to our car and were leaving the parking garage I was in full hormonal melt-down mode with tears streaming down my face because I was so upset. You see, probably the only downside to my OB's clinic is they all participate in rounds at the hospital. Having our doctor actually deliver Joseph is HIGHLY unlikely... which means this lady we had just met and who had just been so abrasive has just as much a chance at being the physician on-call.
Needless to say, I am praying that she is not on-call when we go in. And I truly hope God grants my prayers that our doctor is on-call when we go into labor. Our doc's puts me at ease. When we talked with him today about each medical intervention, he was quick to say that they don't use forceps (thank God!), the internal monitor usage really isn't as invasive as we thought and has the same risks of infection as a natural abrasion of the skin when our baby is delivered. As for the vacuum, he said there is a pretty regular usage, HOWEVER. Each of our desires are completely valid and he completely respects our wishes. He also understands that in the moment of whatever may be happening, WE have the right to have the reasoning explained and the opportunity to say no. He also said that should we say no, that increases the likelihood of a c-section (to which I responded I had no problem with).
That's where Patrick and I differ a bit. I would rather put myself at more risk and deal with a c-section than have to worry that some other intervention may put Joseph at a higher risk of any complications. I would much prefer putting on our "wish list" absolute NOs to the usage of the vacuum, internal monitor, and forceps and just deal with the c-section if my labor progresses down that road. Patrick is a bit more open to the vacuum and internal monitor (all with legitimate medically necessary reasoning to back it up).
So where does that leave me today? Well, slightly more comfortable with the idea... but also feeling support that I am not some crazed person if I decide to just say no.
All this crazy talk and where's the update on our little guy??? Our check-up went really well today, my tummy growth is right on track with where it should be, his little heart is beating just how it should, my blood pressure is great, I can still enjoy food without limitation (all within moderation!). We are freaking great. This little guy is just a ball of energy. Our apps and my daily emails have told us that his movement should be less "violent" or strong... but... let's face facts here people... this is a Bailey boy inside my tummy... Have you met a Bailey boy? They are kind of energetic... kind of a handful... So, that means my tummy can be like a three-ring circus with all the action happening inside. I'm pretty sure Joseph has a daily cardio work-out consisting of either kick-boxing or boxing generally in the vicinity of the right side of my ribs... this action typically lasts for a solid 20-30 minutes of CONTINUOUS punching/kicking... it is a CONTINUOUS rhythm...
My tummy has taken on the alien-like visible movement when he decides to go a little bit spastic (by a little... I truly mean a lot...). I can be sitting in my office having a conversation with one of the associates and he will just decide it is time to be movin' and shakin'.... I'm waiting for the time when one of the associates or my fellow execs actually witness my belly really move...
I've been contracting on a pretty irregular basis. Nothing serious or any cause for concern. I gave the Home store guy a bit of a scare at Fred Meyers a couple weeks ago... didn't mean to, I just had to sit down for a bit to relax after a relatively strong/long contraction I had while walking around with Patrick.
We went to a FABULOUS concert Tuesday night (huge thanks to Steve and Mel!) Mumford and Sons was AMAZING. They are even better live than I thought they would be. Just fantastic. It was technically Joseph's first concert and a pretty damn good one too! Pretty sure our little guy thoroughly enjoyed it. (somehow I also think that listening to Mumford while in labor might actually help it move along a bit too.... had quite a few contractions during the entire concert...)
The nursery is pretty much ready to go. We have all the major stuff taken care of. The only thing that we really need to do is figure out some wall art to put up. We've had a few shopping splurges and bought quite a few cute outfits that we can't wait to put on our little guy. Bought the "going home" outfit - just a super cute little fleece footed sleeper. We are really starting to get anxious to officially meet our little guy. Patrick's ready for me to just go into labor right this minute if he had his way. I can still stand to wait a few more weeks until we are at the "all clear" 37 weeks.
It is bedtime now... long day today... another long day planned for tomorrow.... Peace outside!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Awake My Soul
Nineteen weeks 2 days along! We find out if this is a girl or a boy next TUESDAY! We CANNOT wait. Seriously. I wish I could fast-forward to next Tuesday. I'm ready to buy some clothes for this little person already! So far, our shopping (really, just Patrick's....) has resulted in the following: a giant teddy bear courtesy of Costco, a crib cover to keep Macy from sleeping on our child/suffocating our child, slide locks for our accordion closet doors, and one package of Pampers swaddlers size 1.
Me? I have yet to purchase anything for this little bundle of joy that's growing bigger every day. Weird, huh?
As for the bump? Well.... talk about a HUGE dose of denial. Seriously. Finally did the belly shot pic at 16.5 weeks. Didn't believe I had a bump yet, even though regular clothes haven't fit since late June.... It literally took Patrick showing me the pic of me sideways for me to have that O.M.G. moment. But still, didn't fully sync in.... we took our 18 week belly shot at the beach and now I'm a believer in my bump.
People at work still haven't quite figured it out (meaning the general population, not my fellow execs and my team). One employee thought I just had a beer belly (ummm... no.... and thanks for that confidence booster). My housekeeping manager came up to me Saturday.... I was rubbing my bump and she puts her hand on my tummy and asks what's wrong. I start laughing and told her nothing was wrong, I just have a baby inside my belly. Again with the slight shock. (really starting to build the self esteem....) Here's to hoping this belly gets a little bit bigger just a bit faster so it's more OBVIOUS. Seriously.... I blame society's need to be overly politically correct. (side note... I am praying that I don't get more stretch marks.... never ever wearing a bikini ever again BUT STILL. NO MORE please!)
Gotta love starting to feel this little one move/kick/punch my insides. Brings a smile to my face. I wish I had started feeling this earlier, but thanks to the location of said child's lifeline, there's a bit of an extra cushion that I have to feel these movements through. Which means even longer before Patrick will be able to feel our baby. Thanks body, thanks for making it a bit more difficult! I shake my fist at you!
Not enjoying the heartburn that has begun and steadily increased. However, figured out the major culprit - WORK. For reals. Last week I was under the assumption the heartburn was due to me eating/drinking/generally being awake.... until yesterday. I was off work, just chilling at home with the hubby being generally lazy. A much needed day of relaxation after a stressful week... And what do you know??? NO HEARTBURN until I was legitimately hungry in the evening. Crazy. So, top on my list of things to do - figure out how to remain as low stress as possible at work.
HAH. that's gonna go over real well.... especially with 4th quarter just around the corner, holiday hiring events already under way, another round of inventory in a few weeks, and STILL trying to get my office straightened out/compliant/adjusted to such a smaller team/store... I get heartburn just thinking about it. LAME. So, keep my throat in your prayers.
No specific cravings, just the desire to eat food and eat food often. Talking about food pretty much makes my eyes get really really big! kinda ridiculous.
My brain/memory is pretty much non functional at this point... I am like the epitome of A.D.D... I just walked back from the kitchen and was going to write about something else and forgot as soon as I sat down. Thanks, baby, thanks so much! HAHAH!
Anyways... it's snack time. Peace outside.
OH YEAH! Just remembered. Super ecstatic that I won't be in my final trimester in the midst of the summer. I haven't enjoyed the past few weeks of heat. Generating heat for two and not having central air is most definitely NOT a great combination. Can't wait for the cold nights when I might actually want to have a sheet covering me while I attempt to sleep. Speaking of sleep... starting to not be as comfortable when it comes to sleeping. Cannot WAIT for my new pillow to arrive! Patrick bought me the "snoogie" maternity pillow. I am through the roof EXCITED for this pillow. I have a "boppy" courtesy of Susan that I have slept with for nearly a month and that has been a GOD-SEND so I can't wait for how much more comfy life will be after my snoogie arrives!
Anyways... back to snack time!
Me? I have yet to purchase anything for this little bundle of joy that's growing bigger every day. Weird, huh?
As for the bump? Well.... talk about a HUGE dose of denial. Seriously. Finally did the belly shot pic at 16.5 weeks. Didn't believe I had a bump yet, even though regular clothes haven't fit since late June.... It literally took Patrick showing me the pic of me sideways for me to have that O.M.G. moment. But still, didn't fully sync in.... we took our 18 week belly shot at the beach and now I'm a believer in my bump.
People at work still haven't quite figured it out (meaning the general population, not my fellow execs and my team). One employee thought I just had a beer belly (ummm... no.... and thanks for that confidence booster). My housekeeping manager came up to me Saturday.... I was rubbing my bump and she puts her hand on my tummy and asks what's wrong. I start laughing and told her nothing was wrong, I just have a baby inside my belly. Again with the slight shock. (really starting to build the self esteem....) Here's to hoping this belly gets a little bit bigger just a bit faster so it's more OBVIOUS. Seriously.... I blame society's need to be overly politically correct. (side note... I am praying that I don't get more stretch marks.... never ever wearing a bikini ever again BUT STILL. NO MORE please!)
Gotta love starting to feel this little one move/kick/punch my insides. Brings a smile to my face. I wish I had started feeling this earlier, but thanks to the location of said child's lifeline, there's a bit of an extra cushion that I have to feel these movements through. Which means even longer before Patrick will be able to feel our baby. Thanks body, thanks for making it a bit more difficult! I shake my fist at you!
Not enjoying the heartburn that has begun and steadily increased. However, figured out the major culprit - WORK. For reals. Last week I was under the assumption the heartburn was due to me eating/drinking/generally being awake.... until yesterday. I was off work, just chilling at home with the hubby being generally lazy. A much needed day of relaxation after a stressful week... And what do you know??? NO HEARTBURN until I was legitimately hungry in the evening. Crazy. So, top on my list of things to do - figure out how to remain as low stress as possible at work.
HAH. that's gonna go over real well.... especially with 4th quarter just around the corner, holiday hiring events already under way, another round of inventory in a few weeks, and STILL trying to get my office straightened out/compliant/adjusted to such a smaller team/store... I get heartburn just thinking about it. LAME. So, keep my throat in your prayers.
No specific cravings, just the desire to eat food and eat food often. Talking about food pretty much makes my eyes get really really big! kinda ridiculous.
My brain/memory is pretty much non functional at this point... I am like the epitome of A.D.D... I just walked back from the kitchen and was going to write about something else and forgot as soon as I sat down. Thanks, baby, thanks so much! HAHAH!
Anyways... it's snack time. Peace outside.
OH YEAH! Just remembered. Super ecstatic that I won't be in my final trimester in the midst of the summer. I haven't enjoyed the past few weeks of heat. Generating heat for two and not having central air is most definitely NOT a great combination. Can't wait for the cold nights when I might actually want to have a sheet covering me while I attempt to sleep. Speaking of sleep... starting to not be as comfortable when it comes to sleeping. Cannot WAIT for my new pillow to arrive! Patrick bought me the "snoogie" maternity pillow. I am through the roof EXCITED for this pillow. I have a "boppy" courtesy of Susan that I have slept with for nearly a month and that has been a GOD-SEND so I can't wait for how much more comfy life will be after my snoogie arrives!
Anyways... back to snack time!
Friday, June 17, 2011
The Dog Days Are Over!
This song by Florence + The Machine has pretty much been my anthem for the past 5 weeks. I've got some news. And, if you haven't caught the drift yet, well, MY dog days are OVER! God has blessed us once again!
Our bundle of joy is due to arrive January 22nd and we cannot wait!
I've been writing this post for a little while now.... We've done our best to keep a lid on shouting from the rooftops. I started this entry a month ago:
May 20th: We've known almost a week now. Patrick has been glued to this old baby names book with the exception of the past few nights he's been studying for another class for his certification. I've had a couple mild bouts of nausea (which I'm completely thrilled about after they pass, but not so lovin 'em in the midst!) I'm ridiculously tired... sleeping 8-9 deep hours of sleep every night with a nap thrown into the mix as well. I knew something was up when my usual PMS-cranky self didn't appear and neither did my greasy food cravings. Instead.... smoothies have been after my heart.... many delicious berry smoothies with fro-yo. I'm not your typical health-kick kinda girl.... so I figured something was up. Boy, was I right! I tested early, but the results were not positive, so I figured this would just be a randomly low pms kinda cycle. Two days late and I tested again - this time the test came up POSITIVE! I have had this mix of pure thrill and anxiety at the same time. Anxiety that this won't last again. I've been praying constantly. Praying to keep this baby. Praying for health. Constantly. It's funny how life works out sometimes. The other day I was saying goodbye to a few of the managers and one said out of the blue, "Danielle, I feel like we need to have a baby shower for you soon." I don't know how I managed to not shout my good news. I did my best to brush it off casually and asked for happy thoughts and good mo-jo towards my tummy. I denied that I was currently pregnant. Today, one of our associates looked at me and declared that I was glowing and she wanted to know what good news I had recently received. I again brushed it off as casually as possible and proclaimed it was because I finally had the new filing cabinets in the office. (for those that don't know, I do have a bit of an affinity for office supplies.....)
June 17th: O.M.G. What a rollercoaster this has been. Especially the last two weeks. The nausea... oh the nausea. Not my friend at all! I don't handle getting physically sick well and add in ridiculous hormones.... not so much a good mix at all these days. We had our first pre-natal visit Wednesday and our first ultrasound yesterday. We were originally going to wait until our second pre-natal before we shared with the world, but, after hearing our baby's heart beat - I truly don't know how we can contain this excitement! This tiny human has this amazingly strong heart already - 175 beats per minute! We won't be in the clear for a few more weeks, so lots of prayers are still being had. Our "wolf-pack" has grown exponentially as we have started telling extended family and the closest of our friends. Welcome to the Baby Bailey Wolf Pack!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The Beautiful Letdown
The beautiful letdown.
I've been thinking about this post for a while... but I struggled with titles and with content. I started writing a few times, but ended up erasing everything because I ended up taking it to a place full of anger and deep pain. Which, well, Patrick said I have a history of doing with my previous blog. And I don't necessarily want this one to end up down that road on a consistent basis. Every once in a while, it is a road that will be traveled on though. At least this go around, I will try my best to take a step back before I actually post. The few blogs I had written but not posted would have taken me to a place that I can't take back. Not exactly what I want. So here goes. What in the heck have I been up to since September???
So very much has happened. And continues to happen. I wish I could say that I am getting used to huge drama messes but sadly I am not. Just when I think that life is on the up and up - something ends up happening. Not necessarily to me or to Patrick... well, not directly. That sounds bad. I mean, although crap hasn't happened to either one of us directly, drama and sucky periods of life seem to keep happening to those around us.
Part of me wants to say that we are once again on the up and up and that I am prepared for another hit of insanity. But the truth is, I don't want to deal with any more insanity. I don't want to deal with any more pain, either my own or pain those close to me feel. I feel as though we have experienced enough of it to last a life time.
Back to what I have been thinking about today... and what has sort of been on my mind. My beautiful letdown. The baby front.
Each month of trying has brought days of pain, frustration, stress, and anxiety. This business of literally attempting to create life instead of happening upon it is incredibly stressful. I've been reading. Which hasn't helped. I feel like I know more about my reproductive system than I should. And yet, it hasn't helped. Knowing what happens and when it happens and what that means doesn't help. I've been trying to figure out how to describe what I go through each month - which brought me to my tiny epiphany today. Each month is its own beautiful letdown. I was thinking it was a rollercoaster... but rollercoasters are exhilarating - they take you on this suspense filled journey up and when you reach the top and begin that descent, you let out this scream of excitement as you realize everything is ok. A rollercoaster is not what I can describe as my journey towards motherhood. Maybe the month everything works out and the stick says "pregnant" instead of "not pregnant" I will use the term "rollercoaster ride". But until then, this is my beautiful letdown.
Each month has been beautiful in its own way. I am feeling more and more accepting of my miscarriage (attempting to at least!). This journey continues to be anxiety ridden and yet beautiful. And each month has ended with its own letdown - negative pee sticks and that obnoxious visit from "aunt flo" (overshare? too bad.). This last letdown made me realize this whole thing is way too stressful and upsetting. So I made a decision. No more watching the calendar and figuring out that ever elusive ovulation time. No more being so neurotic and testing because I "have a feeling" that THIS was the month magic happened and that I don't have a hostile womb (my latest self-assumption as to why we haven't conceived yet).
Here is my advice to the world - to the ladies who have miscarried and are trying to conceive again: Don't read the books. Don't over-analyze your diet. Stop preventing yourself from enjoying life by constantly thinking about all things baby and conceiving. Enjoy the process - the art of conceiving. As my great gram recently told me - have fun while you can because once the baby comes, everything changes. Stop reading the books. I know I already said that, but seriously just put them down. Hide them behind the tabloid magazines that are way more entertaining (and don't cause stress and anxiety).
Other life news? While my womb has yet to be fruitful again, others around me are on their own journeys to motherhood. My sister Carrie is expecting - I'm hoping she is having a girl. As fun as Sam (my nephew) is, a baby girl would be way fun since I constantly drool over all the ridiculously cute dresses and outfits. My dearest friend, Jenna is due the same week as Carrie. Two girls from Bible study and two others from my family are also expecting. I would love to know where they all got their water and why they haven't shared.
Patrick's bro went through a divorce - not a fun period - not recommended. As crappy as those months were, all is well now.
Work is work. What else is new?
Got a gorgeous new tv and surround sound. Yes, I just described inanimate objects as gorgeous. Get over it. I'm a girl in love with how amazing they are.
We are going to Hawaii in a little over two months - cannot wait!
Stay tuned for more of my life -
I've been thinking about this post for a while... but I struggled with titles and with content. I started writing a few times, but ended up erasing everything because I ended up taking it to a place full of anger and deep pain. Which, well, Patrick said I have a history of doing with my previous blog. And I don't necessarily want this one to end up down that road on a consistent basis. Every once in a while, it is a road that will be traveled on though. At least this go around, I will try my best to take a step back before I actually post. The few blogs I had written but not posted would have taken me to a place that I can't take back. Not exactly what I want. So here goes. What in the heck have I been up to since September???
So very much has happened. And continues to happen. I wish I could say that I am getting used to huge drama messes but sadly I am not. Just when I think that life is on the up and up - something ends up happening. Not necessarily to me or to Patrick... well, not directly. That sounds bad. I mean, although crap hasn't happened to either one of us directly, drama and sucky periods of life seem to keep happening to those around us.
Part of me wants to say that we are once again on the up and up and that I am prepared for another hit of insanity. But the truth is, I don't want to deal with any more insanity. I don't want to deal with any more pain, either my own or pain those close to me feel. I feel as though we have experienced enough of it to last a life time.
Back to what I have been thinking about today... and what has sort of been on my mind. My beautiful letdown. The baby front.
Each month of trying has brought days of pain, frustration, stress, and anxiety. This business of literally attempting to create life instead of happening upon it is incredibly stressful. I've been reading. Which hasn't helped. I feel like I know more about my reproductive system than I should. And yet, it hasn't helped. Knowing what happens and when it happens and what that means doesn't help. I've been trying to figure out how to describe what I go through each month - which brought me to my tiny epiphany today. Each month is its own beautiful letdown. I was thinking it was a rollercoaster... but rollercoasters are exhilarating - they take you on this suspense filled journey up and when you reach the top and begin that descent, you let out this scream of excitement as you realize everything is ok. A rollercoaster is not what I can describe as my journey towards motherhood. Maybe the month everything works out and the stick says "pregnant" instead of "not pregnant" I will use the term "rollercoaster ride". But until then, this is my beautiful letdown.
Each month has been beautiful in its own way. I am feeling more and more accepting of my miscarriage (attempting to at least!). This journey continues to be anxiety ridden and yet beautiful. And each month has ended with its own letdown - negative pee sticks and that obnoxious visit from "aunt flo" (overshare? too bad.). This last letdown made me realize this whole thing is way too stressful and upsetting. So I made a decision. No more watching the calendar and figuring out that ever elusive ovulation time. No more being so neurotic and testing because I "have a feeling" that THIS was the month magic happened and that I don't have a hostile womb (my latest self-assumption as to why we haven't conceived yet).
Here is my advice to the world - to the ladies who have miscarried and are trying to conceive again: Don't read the books. Don't over-analyze your diet. Stop preventing yourself from enjoying life by constantly thinking about all things baby and conceiving. Enjoy the process - the art of conceiving. As my great gram recently told me - have fun while you can because once the baby comes, everything changes. Stop reading the books. I know I already said that, but seriously just put them down. Hide them behind the tabloid magazines that are way more entertaining (and don't cause stress and anxiety).
Other life news? While my womb has yet to be fruitful again, others around me are on their own journeys to motherhood. My sister Carrie is expecting - I'm hoping she is having a girl. As fun as Sam (my nephew) is, a baby girl would be way fun since I constantly drool over all the ridiculously cute dresses and outfits. My dearest friend, Jenna is due the same week as Carrie. Two girls from Bible study and two others from my family are also expecting. I would love to know where they all got their water and why they haven't shared.
Patrick's bro went through a divorce - not a fun period - not recommended. As crappy as those months were, all is well now.
Work is work. What else is new?
Got a gorgeous new tv and surround sound. Yes, I just described inanimate objects as gorgeous. Get over it. I'm a girl in love with how amazing they are.
We are going to Hawaii in a little over two months - cannot wait!
Stay tuned for more of my life -
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